


When He Leaves

by eremin



Category: Death Note
Genre: Biting, Blood, Bruises, Chaptered, Crying, Dubious Consent, Face Slapping, Falling In Love, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, M/M, Overstimulation, POV Second Person, Poetic, Punching, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Revenge, Scratching, Sexual Confusion, Shota, Smut, Stockholm Syndrome, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-28
Updated: 2014-05-28
Packaged: 2018-01-26 22:02:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1704098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eremin/pseuds/eremin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he leaves the bed, it's over. </p><p>Once he leaves his bed he becomes your rival again, without fail, every morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When He Leaves

Once he leaves his bed, it's over.

Once he leaves his bed he becomes your rival again, without fail, every morning.

He'll never join you in your bed, no. But he'll never reject you to joining in his.

When was the first time you slept in his bed? You don't remember but it seems like it has always been this way, this routine.

Every night you toss and turn for a while before getting up and hesitantly crawling in his bed (and he knows that you sometimes skip the hesitancy).

You get under his blanket, turn on your side and curl up around his body. You've wished he'd do that to you, but he never does. You tell yourself it's only because he's a back sleeper and you're a side sleeper.

But you settle your leg over his and your hand on his tummy and your head under the crook of his arm. And he lets you. 

That means something, right?

You fall right asleep, and you stay asleep. No tossing, no turning.

But it ends when he leaves the bed.

Usually you wake up to him gone. And when you find him he's your rival again. He still insults you with a softness in his voice, he still scowls at you half heartedly, he still teases at you with an apologetic look in his eyes.   
And it leaves you confused.  
Because every night he lets you join him in his bed. He's never spoken a word about it.  
And that means something, right?  
You've always believed that passivity is just as meaningful as fully intended actions. And Mello is very passive.  
Until he isn't.  
\---------------  
One night he doesn't passively sit back and let you cuddle around him.  
You curl up beside him like always with leg over leg and hand over stomach and head under arm. And it surprises you when you hear a small sound from Mello, a quiet 'hmm', and you feel his arm snake under your neck and grab your back and pull you closer. Closer.   
And it leaves you confused.  
You eventually fall asleep despite the foreign warm feelings spreading through your body. When you wake up, something is different. He is still there. Still next to you in bed. And he's awake, smiling, pushing a strand of your hair back.   
Not passive.   
You meet his eyes and open your mouth to ask who knows what, because your childlike curiosity is what makes you so smart, or so they tell you.  
But Mello puts a finger to your lips, silencing you.  
He says not to put this into words. That leaves you confused.  
Put what into words? And why not? Why has Mello broken routine? What are his motives? Why why why why wh-  
Your thoughts stop. Time stops. Nothing in the world is as important as this moment because he is kissing you. Chaste, quick, simple, lips closed, and it’s perfect. You feel like a schoolgirl with a crush.  
He pulls back slowly with a smile and his eyes shut. You can’t think, for once. It's sort of frightening, and there's that foreign warm feeling bleeding through your body, and all you want to do is press closer.  
You move to cuddle around Mello again but he's getting up. You freeze and its too late. He gets out of bed and he's your rival again. You see the peaceful look on his face harden and turn into a scowl. You see him get up and switch his sleep shorts for trousers. You see him remove the hairpins that pull his bangs back in the way you love, the way only you have seen him wear it.   
He asks "are you gonna get up or what?!"   
You bow your head to hide the blush on your face and get out of bed. And he doesn’t talk to you all day.  
And it leaves you sick and confused.  
That night you wait til you hear his soft, quiet snores before climbing in under his blanket. The sliver of moonlight shining through between the curtains illuminates half of Mello’s face. You watch him, more calm than you’ve ever seen him.   
You notice the subtle twitches of his lips and the way the fan makes his hair move. You notice his slim nose, the angle of his jaw, and his radiating warmth. You notice how smooth and clear his skin is. You want to reach out and stroke it. You notice how long his eyelashes are, how delicate his eyelids look. His lips are slightly parted and his chest is rising and falling in time with his breathing. You notice his scent, musty but beautiful, and all his own.   
You don’t want to wake him but it’s hard not to kiss him right now. He comes off so tough, but right now... he looks so fragile.  
You lay your head on his chest and the next thing you know, it’s morning and he’s getting up.  
Mello is getting out of bed and your heart thumps against your ribs because you don’t want him to be your rival again, not just yet. So, bleary eyed and your head still heavy with sleep, you reach up to grab his wrist, but it’s too late. His feet touch the ground and he rips his arm out of your grasp and scowls.


End file.
